The random witterings of Jonathan Morris, writer.

Friday 24 July 2009

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

I hate Gordon Brown.

Bit of an odd thing for Jonny to say, you might think. He’s still, quite literally, a card-carrying member of the Labour party. But that’s why I hate Gordon Brown. He’s letting my team down.

They should never have got rid of Tony Blair. Or, if he decided to go, we should have had a proper leadership election so we could vote for David Miliband. Instead Uncle Grumpy turns up like a bad smell and slowly but surely the lights go out all over Britain.

The fact that he’s still here, after the credit crunch, beggars belief. It happened on his watch – either as Chancellor or Prime Minister. Under the Tories, every time the economy took a tumble, they sacked the Chancellor. It was almost a tradition that we got through Chancellors of the Exchequer in the 1980’s even faster than we got through Doctor Whos.

Instead he lingers odd, the dead hand at the wheel. He doesn’t seem pleased to be there. Where’s the excitement, the enthusiasm, the sheer look-at-me-wheee!-ness in having the top job? Instead he seems to be mentally ticking off the days until the day David Cameron becomes Prime Minister.

The frustration is, the government isn’t doing anything. It gives the impression it’s run out of ideas, as each new measure is so half-baked, so riddled with uncertainty and compromise, so lacking in purpose and ideology, so ineptly delivered, you’d think they didn’t have a majority.

And the cabinet; with a few exceptions, are a load a time-serving second-rate blank-eyed condescending no-hopers promoted way above their abilities.

And the country’s more unfair than it was when they got into power.

In the interests of balance, I’ll be doing a Why-I-Hate-The-Liberal-Guy just as soon as I remember who the hell he is.